EARTH MYSTERIES

This is a general term for people who fall into one or more, sometimes all, of the following categories:

1) People who like visiting ancient sites but who are too scared to call themselves pagans.

2) People who like going to pubs after visiting ancient sites and then get too drunk to attend pagan rituals.

3) People who like numbers, maps and diagrams, almost always boys.

4) People who like attending whatever goes on at ancient sites without claiming ancient lineages and hereditary wisdom, almost always girls.

5) People who think that walking around with a piece of metal wire sticking out of a plastic tube is dowsing. But they never find any water, just 'energy lines' that are conveniently impossible to verify.

6) People who secretly hope that it will turn out that all ancient sites were built by aliens but nowadays are too embarrassed to admit it.

7) New age wankers who have absolutely no idea of what Ley Lines are supposed to be and have never heard of Alfred Watkins.

Having said that, actual Earth Mysteries researchers do a lot of important work in re-imagining the past and taking measurements so that we don't have to. Some, like John Michel and Nigel Pennick, are geniuses who should be funded by the National Lottery. Others expect us to shell out £14.99 to get their latest hardback every time they change their minds about what Ley Lines mean.

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